Give a shit in security!

Pling!
New message from my travel app. Nothing unusual about that, but this time it was a message about how much I had traveled since I had started using the Tripit app. It said; that during the last 22 months, I had been traveling for 277 days, been on 51 different trips. With this I had visited 42 cities in 19 different countries. Not bad in 22 months?

So please understand, that wearing a permanent a bag on your stomach doesn`t need to keep you away from traveling and experience the world;
the “Humorostomy”- way.

There are some challenges! But it is interesting, that events that can be experienced as dramatic and negative in the present, eventually become good stories. Some of the challenges, when you have an ileostomy, are airport security checks. Mostly because many of the people working in security on airports don`t know what an ostomy is. They may wonder if the bag is a new wayto smuggle drugs?
If they stop me, as they often do, they always take a test to see what this mysterious bag contains. They have not found any illegal yet …

The most fun – and embarrassing – approach I have experienced, is at the airport in Chiang Mai, Thailand. Your suitcase is being examined in a scanner as usual, but the actual control of you, as a person, happens on an open area of the terminal. That means, all the people in that area, can see what’s going on. A smiling security lady finds that there is something on my stomach. She smiles; and without asking, she lift my shirt to see. Then she laughs loudly! She had never seen this before!  A brief explanation of surgery and stomach problems made her understand, she smiled again, and let my shirt down.
The public performance of my ileostomy was over.
When arrive in Chiang Mai now, I lift my shirt myself; and the security people, and me we smile together.

Malaysia

Once on my way to Malaysia some years ago, I got some extra challenges going through the security checkpoint at Gardermoen. I was ready for a 13-hour flight. For the first time I had wrapped up extra shifts in my backpack. In addition to an extra baseplate and ostomy bag, I also brought some extra lingerie, a T-shirt and a pair of beige shorts, with a scottish tartan pattern in brown. I may say that this wasn`t the most stylish piece of shorts I had. On longer flights I always use compression stockings. It has a good effect to avoid swollen feet, and this time my pair of stockings were more than long enough. They crossed my knees with a couple of centimetres.

My suitcase was checked in. I was aside for a random check. In the moment I raised my arms to be examined, I noticed that something was very wrong. It felt humid and warm down the right thigh. I looked down and shout: “No! Shit!”
– and that was exactly what it was: Shit!

My whole ostomy bag had departed from the baseplate! With all content. The content was warming me up on the way down my thighs. I explained the situation to the security guard and could run to the bathroom. Not that running made the situation better, but it was about time to clean the misery. Once in the toilet, I teared off my shirt and my trousers and cleaned up. Put the dirty clothes in a plastic bag and was grateful for the extra shift in my backpack. I went out from the bathroom. My good friend and travel mate; Eric, was waiting outside. When he saw my outfit he laughed with tears running down his cheeks!

There I was. With sneakers, long, dark blue stockings over my knees, some wide shorts with Scottish pattern, black t-shirt and a brown summer jacket.

I looked like a weird, crazy and fanatic Scottish golfer; on his way to conquer new and non-discovered golf courses!

We arrived safely on Borneo 13 hours later, despite my clothes…

Sometimes you must give a shit in security; even if it is involuntary …

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