Month: July 2018

Pling!
New message from my travel app. Nothing unusual about that, but this time it was a message about how much I had traveled since I had started using the Tripit app. It said; that during the last 22 months, I had been traveling for 277 days, been on 51 different trips. With this I had visited 42 cities in 19 different countries. Not bad in 22 months?

So please understand, that wearing a permanent a bag on your stomach doesn`t need to keep you away from traveling and experience the world;
the “Humorostomy”- way.

There are some challenges! But it is interesting, that events that can be experienced as dramatic and negative in the present, eventually become good stories. Some of the challenges, when you have an ileostomy, are airport security checks. Mostly because many of the people working in security on airports don`t know what an ostomy is. They may wonder if the bag is a new wayto smuggle drugs?
If they stop me, as they often do, they always take a test to see what this mysterious bag contains. They have not found any illegal yet …

The most fun – and embarrassing – approach I have experienced, is at the airport in Chiang Mai, Thailand. Your suitcase is being examined in a scanner as usual, but the actual control of you, as a person, happens on an open area of the terminal. That means, all the people in that area, can see what’s going on. A smiling security lady finds that there is something on my stomach. She smiles; and without asking, she lift my shirt to see. Then she laughs loudly! She had never seen this before!  A brief explanation of surgery and stomach problems made her understand, she smiled again, and let my shirt down.
The public performance of my ileostomy was over.
When arrive in Chiang Mai now, I lift my shirt myself; and the security people, and me we smile together.

Malaysia

Once on my way to Malaysia some years ago, I got some extra challenges going through the security checkpoint at Gardermoen. I was ready for a 13-hour flight. For the first time I had wrapped up extra shifts in my backpack. In addition to an extra baseplate and ostomy bag, I also brought some extra lingerie, a T-shirt and a pair of beige shorts, with a scottish tartan pattern in brown. I may say that this wasn`t the most stylish piece of shorts I had. On longer flights I always use compression stockings. It has a good effect to avoid swollen feet, and this time my pair of stockings were more than long enough. They crossed my knees with a couple of centimetres.

My suitcase was checked in. I was aside for a random check. In the moment I raised my arms to be examined, I noticed that something was very wrong. It felt humid and warm down the right thigh. I looked down and shout: “No! Shit!”
– and that was exactly what it was: Shit!

My whole ostomy bag had departed from the baseplate! With all content. The content was warming me up on the way down my thighs. I explained the situation to the security guard and could run to the bathroom. Not that running made the situation better, but it was about time to clean the misery. Once in the toilet, I teared off my shirt and my trousers and cleaned up. Put the dirty clothes in a plastic bag and was grateful for the extra shift in my backpack. I went out from the bathroom. My good friend and travel mate; Eric, was waiting outside. When he saw my outfit he laughed with tears running down his cheeks!

There I was. With sneakers, long, dark blue stockings over my knees, some wide shorts with Scottish pattern, black t-shirt and a brown summer jacket.

I looked like a weird, crazy and fanatic Scottish golfer; on his way to conquer new and non-discovered golf courses!

We arrived safely on Borneo 13 hours later, despite my clothes…

Sometimes you must give a shit in security; even if it is involuntary …

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Do you need a speech for the next corporate seminar or inspiration night? Please contact me😊

First an explanation: What is colonoscopy?
Colonoscopy is a study of the entire colon by means of a colonoscope. The colonoscope is a flexible fiber optic tube that is inserted into the intestine. One can then inspect the inside of the intestine and transfer images from the body’s interior to a TV screen. 

(…but I bet you have seen better programs! 😉

The start of my teenage years was filled with a number of surveys. None of these, which causes strange objects to be brought into the your anus, are particularly fun. If you have the opportunity to deny having a colonoscopy? Then do that! Say no!
But I realize that this was necessary examinations, to check what it was wrong with my intestines. But it was not fun. When the diagnoses was determined to be ulcerative colitis – chronic inflammation of colon- additional surveys were made to determine how far the disease had developed.

Most of these inspections into my “inner being” were performed at the hospital in Levanger. Standing on my knees with my ass up in the air, while somebody took a look “in there” is, at the very least, unpleasant. In most cases; it is plain painful!

To conduct a proper survey, I had been admitted to Rikshospitalet. That is the main hospital in Oslo, with the best doctors. There should be a colonoscopy. An examination at the very top of the colon. Then you get some anesthetic. But too little to experience it as a positive event in life. Then I’m on my knees, my back in the air. About 14 years old.
After a while, the doctor says, “Husby, there are some more people who would like to look at this.” And without waiting for any reaction from me, he take aside a veil, and there are 8-10 nursing students who also has direct access to a special view ….
This is probably not common practice today. But then it was quite common.

Then you can imagine how this felt for a fourteen year old boy.

After all these surveys, you pays extra attention to people when they greet you and ask:
“Where have I seen you before?”

My answer is always: “I hope it was in my face?”

 

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